cheese travels fast
Want to play America's
fasting growing diversion?
tales of bread
Read the 'news' stories,
determine whether they
really happened. It's like
that show on Fox only
without the audience and
half the production value.
Top prize: the hollow
rush of esteem associated
with most trivial success
Heard a story that makes
you say, "Now that is some
fine American cheese?"
Be it ludicrously tragic or
tragically ludicrous, real
or a child of your mind;
frame the story like an
AP briefing and send it to
If we select one of your
'news' items you will win
the top prize.
Top prize: A 1998
all-terrain 'thank you'.
Where's Your Messiah Now, Godboy
Jacksonville, FL -- A youth minister died giving a sermon illustration. Melvyn Nurse,
35, of Livingway Christian Fellowship shot
himself in front of 250 people. He was illustrating the danger
of drug use and violence by comparing it to Russian roulette
Nurse put a blank cartridge in a revolver and, as
he made each point, spun the cylinder and fired it above his head. At
the end of the sermon, he put the revolver to his head and pulled the
trigger. The blank cartridge flew apart and shattered his skull in front
of the audience, which included his wife and four daughters.
"We were absolutely stunned. Nobody moved. We thought it might be part of his
sermon and he would pop back up," associate pastor Michael Cooper said.
Fiction or Fact
Cheese Hungry Slave Master
Portland, OR -- A jury returned a $900,00 malpractice verdict on June 4 against a urologist accused of keeping a car salesman addicted to painkillers to get free goods and services.
Larry Benson said his 15 years of virtual servitude began when he was a grocery store manager and the doctor used the drugs as bait to get free pizzas, cans of soda and slabs of cheese.
"I feel vindicated," Benson said after the verdict in Multnomah County Circuit Court. "Nobody ever believed tha story at first. It was so incredible. Everybody thought I was nuts. Everybody said that a doctor wouldn't do it. He did it because of greed and power."
Dr. David R. Rosencrantz first treated Benson for testicular cancer in 1979. He removed one of Benson's testicles and gave Benson samples of painkillers such as Vicodin and Percocet to relieve persistent migrain headaches.
Benson claimed that for the next 15 years, the doctor demanded free goods and services in exchange for the drugs, supplying the pills in envelopes or tissue paper.
It esculated from his supermarket days, Benson said, when the doctor would make special requests for free food.
"He loved the Kraft cheese, Benson said. "He said his wife was a vegetarian and they need it.
Fiction or Fact